Old thoughts...

Since I do tend to write things down, I had some old thoughts that never made it to this blog...

I had been jogging one day and ran behind this girl who was listening to music.  Not uncommon, however, she did have her ear phones on to the point that she was oblivious to anything or anyone around her.  Normally runners are at least somewhat aware of their surroundings, especially on a trail.  So I came up behind her and as I passed her, she yelled the biggest cuss word.  I didn't expect it and she just said she didn't even see or hear me.  I don't know, but if you're jogging by yourself, at least be aware of your surroundings so that nothing bad happens to you.  Please!

Speaking of bad things, I did have leaves or bugs fall on me.  Yes, I consider that bad because I didn't really want to know which it was and it scared me.  :-)  You wonder how bugs can fall on me?  Well, I run under a lot of trees, so yes it's possible.  Also, when I jogged with no glasses or contacts, the shadows take on a whole different meaning.  Those shadows were a deterrent and inspiration at the same time.  I didn't know what to expect, but it sure made me run faster!  LOL!  

Visibility is important!  Seeing frogs is also one of those moments where you watch your step a little more careful.  All you have to do is accidentally step on one as it tries to hop away (in the same moment).  Ugh!  Gross!  Of course there was also the time I was running and thought I saw two cats.  I still don't know if that was what I saw or not.  I'm okay with not knowing. 

One thing to share that I almost feel should have it's own post, but...
I often think about that last mile when jogging.  I'm sure I share these particular thoughts with some, if not many.  That last mile (or even just close to the finish line):

• Is a relief to know that you are "almost done"!
• Happy because you don't have to see that line are again/anymore!
• Kinda like relationships - Yup!
• You tend to use that last bit of energy, or what can sometimes feel like it, just to finish faster.  Not sure where that energy was, but it makes a nice reappearance.  

Okay, so let me explain about the relationship part.  When you're in an exhausting relationship, it can be nice when you see an end to it. You'll be exhausted like crazy, but it's nice to know you're almost done.  Whether you'll be sore the next day depends on many things, but it's nice to know it's over when it is.  I had many friends going through this all at once which is why the thought came to me.  I continue to pray for all those with broken or sad hearts from relationships that didn't work out for whatever reason.

A mesh of thoughts and ideas...

So I haven't jogged in what feels like forever.  Okay, so it has been forever.  I haven't jogged in a while and I've missed it.  I did a little more walking than jogging today, but I figure a step back in the right direction is a positive direction. :-)

So my thoughts have been all over.  From the ARME Bible camps that I've been lucky enough to participate in and gain so much more than information to figuring out the next step of ways to make money doing what I enjoy so it's not so much of a stress issue.  My brain never seems to get off "overdrive" so I just go with it.  I was happy to still see all the squirrels trying to get out of my way.  Although some don't seem to have seen me as quickly as in the past.  Maybe there's a comfort level that nature decided was okay, just for today. 

Some topics I will expand upon in my website...

• Forgiveness
• Determination
• Understanding
• Broken Hearts
• Communication

*Yes, these are the random thoughts I expand upon as I'm jogging. 

I've seen so many people with reasons to give up hope or just remain sad in the acceptance of circumstances that don't seem to change.  Perhaps I should just tell them to jog!  ;-)  I love to jog because it gets me away from all my daily things.  It's funny that I think about these things while I job, but it's also still a break for me.  Not sure I could explain well enough.  

For now, I just rest on the thought that I will not give up on my goals.  They have been delayed, shall we say, as opposed to just tossed out.  I would tell people to never give up.  If you have to store your ideas and energy away for another time, then so be it.  Just don't give up!  Oh, and keep smiling too!  That's a good source of positive energy!!

God, what can we not see yet?

All I could think about today, during my jog, was the loss of Nolan James and how it's just not fair.  I was running and actually started crying.  I had to stop just sort of sobbing because jogging and crying just doesn't work well for coordination. 

I kept asking God why he took Nolan and why he would do this to Lisa.  My thoughts turned to my friend's song titled "Blame".  It says "You can blame curse my name/You can say you don’t need me/Just don’t leave and don’t think /That I’ve ever left you now/Cuz I love you still /And I’m holding you right now (Listen for yourself: http://marialong.com/) This left me crying even more because I could only pray and hope that Lisa felt God holding her and comforting her in this time of sadness.  

We are told to find the silver lining and that the grass is always greener on the other side...

Who told us that God allows this to happen and who teaches us to prepare for these things?  No one.  No one can ever tell you about these moments because everyone has their own moment in times like this.  It's just so hard to understand when a child is taken.  One that is so beautiful and full of life. One that was so young. 

I was not fortunate to have met him yet.  He was not even four months and I had planned to visit over the summer, but I lost my chance.  To those who were able to meet him, I'm sure their lives will never be the same.  

Lisa, I can only imagine that God must have something special planned for you.  There's no other explanation of why he would put you through something like this.  I certainly don't have the same right that you do, to be upset, hurt, angry, lost, and more...just know that you are not alone.  I wish nothing but love and memories of the mother that you are (you will always be a mother) and of the moments you had with your son.  Between holding his little hands, little feet, making him laugh...

I am in a moment of anger right now and just can't seem to get over it.  Despite everything, he's gone.  Nothing will change that.  

I think I need to run again soon.  I will move on and realize that I'm only feeling a fraction of what you are Lisa Marie.  I just know that, as a mother, no one can ever understand quite what you're going through.  But by letting people be there for you, it does help get through whatever you need to get through.  

RIP little Nolan "bear" James.  You are loved and missed!

Negativity Virus?

So it's been over a month since I've jogged?  Oh, good grief!  

As I jogged last night I recapped what has been happening in life these days.  It's sad because there is so much more negativity spreading like a virus.  My friend has cancer and recently lost his job.  Our old IT person, who is a good friend, has a crazy family that is almost as crazy as his IRB issues.  My own financial situation is looking dim and rent is almost due.  My niece had her baby only 3 1/2 months ago and he's been in the hospital for 3 days now.  My co-worker who just sold his house had no AC for days and was told a bigger problem existed.  Recent breakups have left my friends feeling heartbroken and said.  

There has to be a positive side, right? So lets try this again, but suck the positive out NOW!

My friend has cancer and recently lost his job.  Something better is in store for him that the old job would have interfered with.

Our old IT person, who is a good friend, has a crazy family that is almost as crazy as his IRB issues.  He will find a better job that will help him resolve some problems close-to-home and the crazy family, well....there's only so much you can do.

My own financial situation is looking dim and rent is almost due.  I have a plan and things will work out, but this moment has sparked my entrepreneur side and it's the jump start I needed.  I just didn't know I'd get it this way.

My niece had her baby only 3 1/2 months ago and he's been in the hospital for 3 days now.   Both mom and baby will come through this stronger and closer!  Family that may be too busy might reconnect.

My co-worker who just sold his house had no AC for days and was told a bigger problem existed.  He does already have a new house so maybe leaving the old one came around just in time.

Recent breakups have left my friends feeling heartbroken and said.  This just means bigger and better things are that much closer to happening for them.  They are great people who deserve so much better and will find it. 

Squirrel on a Bike

Yes the squirrel was on a bike, alone..but I guess I should mention the bike was on its side with no one around.  Still, with all the squirrels on my jogging trail, it was nice to see one on a bike versus climbing yet another tree!  Of course this was two days ago.  I just haven't had time to write.  I'm attempting to change that, because I do love it and my life has been changing for the better these days.  


So my thoughts have focused on this idea of "ours", but I can't mention it yet....Sorry!  (It was a thought I had and felt the need to mention to reinforce or confirm the title of the blog!)  I was able to "generate" a lot of good things tonight so I'm anxious to get it going asap. 


Tomorrow I give my Adult Learning Theory Presentation.  I love training and am honestly not sure what to expect, but the presentation is done and I'm hoping it will lead to bigger and better things.  If not, I'll find my own path as I tend to do.  


So I went to Houston last weekend and had 4 full days of learning.  Yes, I was in (what felt like) class all day at ACRP, but I met new people, had some different food, and got to see my bosses that I never see.  I also decided that I want to present at this conference next year.  I saw some different styles and ACRP offers a lot of room for topics.  I know I'll stick to training, but there's still a lot of opportunities within that.  Oh, and our Chapter mixer was a success which was a great way to end things other than ending up at Minute Maid stadium!


So this wolf-like dog we saw over the weekend was very pretty.  He (or she I suppose) was still small and very aware of what was going on around him/her.  There was no leash although no one is supposed to allow animals without leashes...It's the Law!  (in the complex anyway)  What I found out later was that this dog is apparently attacking little children and other parents have spoken up about it.  My daughter was the first to tell me because she saw one of the little kids dad go up to where the crowd had gathered around the dog to yell that he was helping yet another kid.  The dog needs to be on a leash and since it's taken me almost six months to see the dog, I don't really know where he/she stays for the most part.  If I see him/her again (darn I wish I knew if it was a boy or girl), I'll report it.  There are just too many little kids around here to let it go.  


Okay, better go to bed.  Last thoughts (post-jog of course):
Dear God, Please be with all my friends who need you.  There are many going through so much and could really use your support in whatever way you see fit.  Help the families of my friends who are struggling with health or financial issues.  Give them a hug and show them love in ways they will see it. Thank you for always being there for me, helping me, and listening to me even when I don't make the right choices.  You will always be my best friend and the one I trust with my life!  I love you!  Good Night!  
P.S. Thanks for the stars!  They are some of your best work!  Personally I think they give hope and optimism to those who need that extra something. ;-)

Savor Your Amazingness!

So I really should be in bed and will be in a few, but...just jogged and feel the need to write before I forget what I wanted to write about (again!). 


These days I'm learning to take it easy.  I've always got what seems like a million things to do, yet I'm learning it's okay to stop for 5 minutes.  That saying "stop and smell the roses" really rings true and you should do it if you ever see roses.  They're not common in Texas unless they're in a vase.  ;-) 


Okay, so I'm learning how to walk my dog and train him.  Sorta.  I've gotten advice on what to do and am trying everything I hear.  The main thing is that I'm working on my own fears that are causing the both of us problems.  He sure does sit when he's inside the house for those snacks, but when we're outside, he's just too distracted.  It's not always so I'm not giving up hope.  I'm still taking advice and hope that he will improve.  Well...that WE will improve.  


Today was a very long day for some reason.  Got a lot done and I appreciate the ability to get a 1500 word assignment turned in on time.  Thank you Jesus!  I've seen some posts on facebook today where some just feel like it was an "odd" day.  I've seen this in the past week also, as if there's something in the air.  


On a religious note, I have to wonder if any of this has to do with what many see as the end of times.  Things will get worse before this world comes to an end and I just have to wonder if many are in denial or if it's a combination of finally noticing and realizing life on this earth is simply diminishing. 


All we can do is hold on to each other.  The human spirit is amazing.  Kindness helps and heals.  Emotions can make you laugh and cry all in a single moment.  A touch can make you tingle or cringe.  We are an amazing bunch...and sometimes we need to be reminded that we're special enough to savor it!

One Day at a Time

I can't believe it's been so long since I've been able to write.  Life has definitely been in a changing cycle of miscellaneous these days.  So I have been jogging even though I haven't been writing, but it hasn't been much.  I did run the LiveStrong Paramount 5K on January 19th which I believe I'll make an annual attempt to accomplish.  Wish I could do the marathon or half, as it was something I had considered, but it's just not something I'm making time for these days. 


So my last run was Saturday, 3/24/12.  My knee didn't act up at all and I think the lack of continuous jogging may have helped.  Of course, I've also been working on thigh exercises which I've heard helps as well.  


As I ran, I noticed that everyone was jogging backwards.  It was a first for me.  Okay, so by jogging backwards, I mean that everyone was jogging towards me, not in the same direction.  I've never had that happen.  It was just kind of odd that "everyone was doing it".  I wasn't worried, but did feel like the odd man out.  I passed my ex-landlord and waved a hello as I jogged by him, his wife, and two dogs.  Jogging really can lead to randomness...Hmmm?


Speaking of dogs...I've been getting advice on how to work with mine so he's not so pit-bull aggressivy.  (I understand this is not a word, so bear with me.)  He's great with people, but not so with other dogs.  Well, I'm working with him and I successfully diverted his attention from a little dog while on a walk not to long ago.  Yay for the both of us! 


Lately, I seem to find myself pondering the wonderful people in my life.  As I mentioned...I have this miscellaneous of happenings these days and the support of my friends has been incredible.  People really are amazing and can lift you up when you really need them.  


I found out today that an old friend died.  Through this, I was reminded of other friends who had died.  What a sad moment to reflect on.  Life is really too short to waste it.  Plain and simple, that's what most of us do.  Of course, if you're like me, you do too much so as to try and not waste it, but whatever it takes for each person...It's important to just keep jogging...I mean, to just keep forging ahead and don't let anything get you down.  


I told myself that it would be okay if I didn't run even half of my usual 3 miles since I haven't jogged in about a month.  Well, that wasn't good enough.  I ended up jogging about 3/4 of my run.  With no knee pain, I'd say it was a good day. 


One day at a time...